Our first visit with the oncologist

Today we met Mama's oncologist.  He was very business-like.  I suppose these doctors have to get this way since such a high percentage of their patients die. I'd imagine they need pretty thick skin in order to continue treating oncology patients without burning out.  So he's undoubtedly used to the whole process of cancer and its treatment but this is our first time with this cancer business and it's pretty unsettling to be given the news so brusquely.  It would be nice if he could bring himself to look either of us in the eyes.

He wants more tests.  It looks like Mama might have thyroid cancer, too.  And there's the suspicious couple of masses behind her pancreas. So Friday and Saturday are dedicated to MRIs of the abdomen and chest. He said that lung cancer doesn't typically spread to these organs so we're talking about multiple types of cancer. She had a CT scan 7 months ago that didn't show these masses.  I have a sinking feeling in my chest.  This doesn't look good.

Wednesday we go see the thoracic surgeon.  He and the oncologist will "talk", then Mama and I get to hear the results.

I have to plan.  Most of my family think that I do things spontaneously not realizing that I plan, re-plan, group and regroup before I say anything to anyone so it appears that my plans have come out of the blue.  Ha! I want to plan for the time that Mama can't eat because of nausea from her treatments.  I want to plan for the time that she has pain.  Today, the oncologist told me that I was being premature. I think he's wrong.  Maybe he thinks Mama will be miraculously cured and all will be well?  I'll discuss this with the thoracic surgeon on Wednesday.

Oncologist DID talk briefly about treatment.  If the suspicious masses are benign, then there will be radiation and chemo; perhaps even surgery on the lung cancers.  If the masses ARE malignant, then it'll be just chemo.  He said that they may want to scope the lymph nodes to see if THEY are actually cancerous.  Mama would be hospitalized for a day or two after the procedure.  We'll know more next Monday when we see him again.

Mama is taking this very well.  She is cheerful and in a much better mood than I've seen her in for a long time. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet.  Maybe she doesn't understand the whole situation yet.  Maybe she feels relieved to finally have a name for the problem. Maybe she's just much stronger than I ever realized. Whatever it is, I'm GLAD that she is cheerful because I go home and cry for both of us.