Starting Over - Again

The past eight months have been tough ones for me.  Lack of livable income resulting in depression-turning-into-health-problems have made the months very long ones. I've learned some very interesting things while being among the working poor: The more poverty income you make (income that's still not enough to pay the minimum bills of rent, utilities and food) the worse off you are.

Case in point:  I injured my back while working at McDonalds. I have never been in that kind of pain before.  It hurt to move, it hurt to sit or lie down (forget about getting back up again); at times it hurt to breathe.  Workman's Compensation paid for the doctor visits and physical therapy but I was only able to work a minimal number of days during the month I was recuperating. No substitute teaching, no McDonalds. That translates to no income.  I WAS able to qualify for food stamps and FINALLY I was able to qualify for state medical insurance.

By the way, after being released from doctor's care I quit my job at McDonalds for fear of re-injuring my back from the lifting I was required to do. Even though I keep applying for work that fits in with my education and prior training I STILL can't seem to get employed.

So then it became time to question my priorities.  Do I get another low-paying job and lose the medical insurance that was allowing me to address my health problems AND get less money in food stamps OR do I wait until school starts when I'll start substitute teaching again?

This is such a moral dilemma. Do I rely on governmental help when I feel like I should be able to provide for myself and my daughter (but haven't succeeded in that endeavor yet) or do I go ahead and take the help while telling myself that this is only a temporary situation? Both solutions seem like defeat.  The deciding factor was the medical insurance.  Right now I have to have medical insurance until I either get healthy again or get a job that pays enough so I can afford medical insurance through them.

In the meantime, I've watched the movie "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" and have decided to use their method of juice fasting to try to get my body healthier.  I don't have a juicer but I DO have an old Vita-Mix blender and a strainer. So, the next 10 days will be a log of this health experiment. I start tomorrow morning.

Wish me lots of willpower!